Bolton Ferret Welfare

maisy and daisy

MAISY: Jostle up, duck. The drinks table's that-a-way.

DAISY: You've just downed your third champagne cocktail.

MAISY: Look, there's Polecat Deeley. We're really 'A' list tonight.

DAISY: A list of what?

MAISY: Don't be tiresome, duck. I mean this do is jam-packed with 'A' List celebs. Hoy, waiter! Get me a pink drink. Like that mitt over there's got.

WAITER: Does Madam mean a pink gin?

MAISY: That's it. Get us a bottle each.

DAISY: Oh dear.

WAITER: I'm afraid I can't Madam.

MAISY: Whadderyermean? Don't you know who I am? If that mitt in the red strapless backless frontless garment can have a bottle of pink stuff so can I. I myself personally...

DAISY: ...You have to mix it.

MAISY: I am mixing it! How many folk do you have to meet and greet before you get a pink drink?!

DAISY: Pink gin is mixed specially. He's gone to make you one.

MAISY: I should flamin' well hope so. By the way, duck, I've been chatting to Ivy. She says we simply must do Glyndebourne this year. I told her we'd reserve poolside seats.

DAISY: I wish I didn't have to ask, but why?

MAISY: To see the opera diver.

DAISY: Right. Can you possibly mean Diva?

MAISY: I know what I mean. Why are those sandies signing cheques?

DAISY: It's a charity bash. I told you.

MAISY: And?

DAISY: We're not the charity.

MAISY: What!!? We have to stump up some dosh?

DAISY: That's the idea.

MAISY: Quick, we're out of here. Waiter, get my crocodile shoulder bag and make it snappy.

DAISY: That's very funny!

MAISY: I'm not laughing, duck. Quick! Make for the door.

DAISY: Mind that tray!

MAISY: Waaarrrrgggggghhhhh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

DAISY: Never mind, duck. You canapé now.

(From Ferrets First - April/May 2004 - #17)

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