Bolton Ferret Welfare

maisy and daisy

MAISY: Dig in the hamper, duck, and get us the mouse mousse. It's really moreish. Try some.

DAISY: No thanks. It smells awful. Where did you get the recipe?

MAISY: I took a sneek peek at Ivy's diary and whizzed it up a load in the blender last night. There's plenty more at home.

DAISY: Fantastic. I feared there might be.

MAISY: Talking of diaries, I'm dead chuffed about my new contract with Jill magazine. The Tell It To Maisy column is about to have the showbiz would buzzing. Have you seen my publicity bumph? 'Bare your heart to a sympathetic ear. You're never alone now Maisy's here'.

DAISY: They certainly must think you right for the job.

MAISY: I'm a sympathetic ear personified, duck, and I've received my first letter.

DAISY: Let me see it. 'Dear Maisy, I am in love with a handsome hob but he doesn't notice me. I feel lonely and unattractive. Do you think a little extra make-up might help? Yours hopefully, Anguished Albino'. Have you replied?

MAISY: Too right I have. 'Dear Anguished Albino, he has obviously met someone better looking and more interesting. Get a life or get a head transplant'.

DAISY: Right. OK

MAISY: What's the problem? Am I too tactful? Is it a tinsy bit over friendly?

DAISY: I wouldn't say that. Have a melting moment.

MAISY: Thanks, duck, I don't mind if I do. I have to admit that I wasn't keen on your woodland picnic idea but this nature business is growing on me. We celebs need to be in touch with our inner selves.

DAISY: Try hugging a tree.

MAISY: Don't even go there, duck. That's so Sixties. And I don't want nasty twiggy mossy stuff in my fur. Give us some of that strawberry gateau.

DAISY: It's very sticky

MAISY: Yummy. This is scrummy. Perhaps I might prod that tree a bit with my sunshade. Just to say 'hi'.

DAISY: I'm sure it would rather be hugged.

MAISY: Tough. It should be flattered that I am talking any notice of it at all. I myself personally...What was that noise?

DAISY: You've disturbed a wasps' nest. Quick. Run.

MAISY: Youch! Ouch! Ouch!

DAISY: Well, duck, you got your buzz all right.

(From Ferrets First - June/July 2004 - #18)

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