MAISY: So, duck, tell me again. Where did you see them?
DAISY: In Argos. Buying a toaster.
MAISY: Huh! Typical. Bill hasn't the bread to be upmarket! Well, I think I'm funny!
DAISY: He looked very happy.
MAISY: Putting a brave face on it, no doubt. What did he say?
DAISY: 'Hello. We're buying a toaster.'
MAISY: He was always verbally challenged. And his new girlfriend?
DAISY: Very pleasant. Younger than you. And taller, Thinner...
MAISY: All right, duck. And dimmer too, I dare say.
DAISY: She's a nuclear chemist.
MAISY: Crumbs! That's another toaster joke, by the way.
DAISY: I can see how Polecat Bill might notice a slight variation in his after dinner conversation since he dumped you.
MAISY: Excuse me! Dumped me? I myself personally...
DAISY: Well, whatever. You're well over it now.
MAISY: Too right, duck.
DAISY: Mrs Weasel cleans for them too. Ask her what she thinks.
MAISY: Where is she?
DAISY: In the kitchen, trying to relight the Aga. I think she's finding your Country Living magazine rustic simplicity phase somewhat challenging.
MAISY: Nonsense. Oh, there you are Mrs W. What the heck's happened? You look like a chimney sweep.
MRS W: **** *** *******. **!!
MAISY: There's no need to be like that, duck. These rural lifestyle must-haves take a little getting used to, that's all. It's probably wise not to get too close when you lift the lid to stoke it.
MRS W: **** **!!!!!!
MAISY: Well, duck, you'd best get back to work. Or should I say 'black to work'?!
DAISY: Watch out. Mrs W will be plotting revenge. She'll get her own black, you'll see..!
(From Ferrets First - February/March 2005 - #22)